Friend or Foe??

Breastfeeding and me...friend or foe?? From Day 1 till today, there's always something came between me and breastfeeding. Is it not meant for me to bf my child? Okay, friends say "don't give up, keep trying..." Which bit that I haven't try? Taking fenugreek pills-check! eating the revolting oatmeal porridge-check! drinking at least 3 liters of water-check! Eat healthily and a lot and high calories-check! drinking soymilk on top of that 3 liters of water-check! But why there's still a problem???? I don't understand... Okay, first few weeks, i got sore,cracked, infected nipples, so i can't fully bf...then I top up with formula and keep expressing milk, i barely get 20ml per session. Okay, don't give up....i keep doing the same and have my nipples healed, there are occasional breakdown because of the pain and stressing out about my milk supply. But it's okay...no pain no gain. I'd do anything for my baby.

7 weeks passed..thing are getting better...I can feel my milk come in (with slight tingling like pins and needles) so I'm much happier mom because I can fully bf him. So I omit all the formula feedings and stick to bf for 5 days..Guess what happens?? He LOST WEIGHT! Goddamnit!!! We found a tint of phosphate in his diaper 2 nights in a row after 3 days of solid bf...We got nervous so went to see his doc and and he suspect that my baby doesnt get enough milk from me, hence the weight loss. He ordered me to top up formula again..and we are back to square one...AGAIN!


Oh did I mention that he got acid reflux at the same time?? Worse after feeding, he would spitted up quite a lot of milk. I know it's normal for young babies to spits up milk, but his case is a lot worse. We would be drenched in sour milk while burping him and soon after...and he cries a lot because of the heartburn he's having. Poor guy can't tell he's in pain...so he just cries..and cries.. and arching his back and became rigid until the spasm goes away. Yet once again we went to see his doctor and we were prescribed Zantac for him. Same as Maalox or Gaviscon for adult for treating heartburn.

So now things are getting better, he seems calmer and more smiley..and amazing enough, despite discomfort, he still smiles and very charming and react very well to us. Those little smiles make me forget how tough it has been all this while. I'm trying to be the best mom I know how. If bf still against me...so be it...as long as he's growing well and healthy and happy, I'm much obliged already.. I'd put the guilt away(for not able to bf for longer)It's still better than nothing!

Welcome Ayden Mikael Bjӧrn

My bun finally done! Sorry for the long break, was pretty busy adapting to new life as a mother. On 30th August 2010, at 6.12 pm local time, a big healthy boy was born, we call him Ayden Mikael. Weighing 4.195kg, I was exhausted! Although we had to induce the labor since he decided to stay a bit longer in the oven, we were worried about his wellbeing. He already passed 40 weeks (10 months gestation), so few factors were considered high-risk if it's longer than 40 weeks, placenta might not able to provide enough oxygen, hence there might be fetal distress, he might passed stool in the womb (which he had), not good for his lungs as they may cause respiratory distress and infection...we don't want that, do we? And the weight of the baby.. the longer he stays the bigger he gets (bigger than 4.2kg??) the harder I gotta push him out.

Total time from induction until birth was 16 hours with actual active labor. That was hardwork. Then (minus the details) he made an entrance to this world. We are a proud parent.

Life after birth is completely different and totally an experience! I suffered from sore, cracked, infected nipples from day 3(after leaving hospital) and until now am still struggling with breastfeeding. I've seen 3 different Lactation Consultant for their expert advise and hopefully there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I've been supplementing formula while breastfeeding since I'm too stress out and my milk supply has not improve. No matter how I tried to relax, it's just impossible when I have this new being to care for. I am his universal provider, there's no way I could back off and give up.

I need to stay positive about it because our milk production is very well connected through our pituitary gland in the brain, and hormone releasing to provide for the child. It's all in the brain..